Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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