I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
