Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
