I like my sex mixed with concussions.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
