i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
