i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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