What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
