I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
