who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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