You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
