taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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