I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize