no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
