tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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