it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
