Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
