the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
