he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
