adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
