dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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