He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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