New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
