Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
