im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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