My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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