i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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