I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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