so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
