You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
