I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
