I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
