Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
