he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
