well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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