Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
