Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
