Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
