Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
