Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
