Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
