He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
