You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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