hotel room ftw
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
