I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
