I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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