he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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