I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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