You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize