dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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