i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
