That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
