Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Found the puke drawer
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
