Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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