If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
