I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
