she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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